All My Life Page 3

  First, it was just the one woman, then a few phone calls. Eventually, the emails started. Then it was two women and a dozen letters. One week later, it’s a full-on festival. Women from all over the country, even a few international, writing me, calling me. If I was on social media, I’m sure they would’ve found me there, too. Some sent pictures. Some sent resumes. Others sent flowers. One woman sent a pie, which went in the trash, like I’m going to trust that. I’ve avoided it all, choosing to ignore it, believing it will go away. Yet another, a personal shopper, offered to help me with my clothes. What’s wrong with jeans and t-shirts? This is who I am. I’m not about to change what I wear to impress the mob of women who’ve invaded my town.

  It’s turned into a fucking free-for-all for my attention. The local bed and breakfasts are booked solid. I can’t even get into my store. I’ve had offers from news outlets wanting to interview me and Mia. I’ve declined.

  Our life works. Why complicate things? I open the door to the garage behind my house, flicking on the light, where the last piece of my teenage years is covered by a sheet. Before Mia’s mom, before teenage pregnancy, there was that motorcycle—a 1972 Moto Guzzi Ambassador. Perhaps the greatest piece of metal ever saved from a junkyard. My dad and I worked on that bike almost every night. My mother hated it. Don’t know why she worried so much, we never actually got it road ready.

  After I found out I was going to be a dad, I covered it with a sheet. Over the years, I’ve fiddled with it from time to time. Kind of like me and dating. Every now and again, I mess around under the sheets, but ultimately, I leave and shut that door behind me.

  “Dad, we need to get going,” Mia says from behind me, but I don’t turn toward her.

  She’s taken it upon herself to organize this chaos into some sort of mission of love for her dad, and there’s no talking to her when she gets like this.

  I’ve tried telling her that when I want to date someone I will. I’ve tried telling her that I don’t need or want her involved in my love life.

  Her response: It will be fun. Just humor me.

  That I could fend off.

  It’s when her eyes grew weepy, and she said how much she worries about me that I caved. That’s the ace in the hole every time. There’s no saying no to her when she plays that card.

  “Were you working on the bike?” she asks.

  “Thinking about it,” I say.

  “You should,” she says, like she knows we are talking about dating more than the motorcycle.

  I open my arm for her to come over, and wrap it around her shoulder. This garage holds more than my lost youth, it holds what I gained, too. Over in the corner sits Mia’s first tricycle. Up on a shelf sits the dollhouse she never played with. Running my hand over the wood of her rocking horse, I say, “I couldn’t get you off this when you were little.”

  “Didn’t you make it for me?” she asks.

  I nod. It was the first thing I ever made for her. “Hours and hours, you were on that thing. You’d sing this little song. Horsey, horsey, my horsey over and over again.”

  “If only riding a real horse went as well,” she says, laughing.

  She’d begged me for riding lessons, so when she was eight I signed her up. Riding horses is an expensive hobby. I calculated it one time. It was a buck a minute. So the ten minutes she spent crying cost me a ten-spot. It only took her falling off the horse one time, and her equestrian career was over.

  “We should go. Penny’s meeting me,” Mia says.” She’s going to help me make a spreadsheet of the . . .”

  I turn her to me, my hands on her tiny shoulders. “Promise me this won’t interfere with me and you. Our time together. I don’t want your last couple months at home to be . . .”

  “I promise,” she says, wrapping her arms around my waist, her head resting on my chest.

  “I love you,” I say.

  *

  Looking over my shoulder for women who want to be my wife, I walk towards the diner. I just left Mia at my shop. It’s quiet around town, the haze from the morning still rolling off the streets, the morning dew making everything look fresh.

  “Garrett?” I hear my name being called.

  “Quiet,” I bark, turning around to see Eden Valley’s new mayor power walking through the town square.

  “Eden Valley’s very own economic boost in the flesh,” the mayor boasts. He’s a nice man. I wouldn’t describe him as wise like my dad, but he loves this town, and what more can you really ask for in a mayor? His heart is in the right place, even if his nose is stuck in my business.

  “Can I help you with something?”

  “Just getting my morning cardio,” he says, shuffling past me. If that constitutes cardio these days, we are in serious trouble.

  Giving him a wave, I stop at Biscuit Girl and lightly knock on the front door of the diner. It’s early, the place isn’t even open yet, but if I want to avoid a mob of women and have my coffee in peace, I’ve got no choice.

  Most men would love to have this problem, but I find it all ridiculous. How can anyone decide they want to meet me from one video? A video that, by the way, only showed me for about five seconds.

  Smiling, Devlyn unlocks the door, letting me in. She’s been opening early for me the past few mornings. “Coffee’s not quite ready,” she says. I shrug and collapse into my usual chair. “Where’s Mia this morning?”

  I point across the square at my daughter and her friend, Penny, setting up a table in front of my store. “She’s decided she’s going to vet these women for me. Interviews, resumes, or some shit.”

  Devlyn laughs. “That bad?”

  “That bad,” I say. “Yesterday, I stumbled upon a woman sunbathing topless in my backyard.”

  “I think most men would be all over that.”

  “Most men don’t have a teenage daughter.”

  “Well, don’t send them all away too quickly. Business is so good I may be able to retire early. I’m even thinking of naming a menu item in your honor. That way your suitors can learn your dietary habits. You know, Hamburger Hollis or Garrett’s Garlic Fries.”

  Devlyn is always good for a laugh. “Don’t worry,” I say. “Mia hates the idea of me being alone. She is hell-bent on having me nice and settled before she goes off to college. I think she thinks she can get me married in the next three months.”

  “So what are you going to do?” Devlyn asks.

  “What do you do with any woman who gets her head wrapped around something? Compromise!” I say. “I told her three dates with three women, and that’s it. So she’s sorting through and selecting her top picks for me. Then I’ll pick three and be done with this whole mess.”

  “You don’t sound optimistic,” Devlyn says.

  “Would you be?”

  Her eyes lower a little. “Probably not.” She’s had her share of bad relationships. I know how that feels. “Did you ever think it would be this hard?” she asks. “Love, I mean.”

  “This isn’t about love,” I say.

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” Devlyn says. “It’s about the hope of love.”

  Do I want that? I certainly haven’t been hoping for it, but I guess Devlyn’s right. That’s why all these women are here. They are hoping to find love. I’m sorry to disappoint them, but I think they are in the wrong place.

  I’d like to meet the asshole who said love was easy because they’re fucking liars. Besides, it’s the hard things that mean the most, not the easy things. “You’re asking the wrong guy,” I say. “Seems to me that hard love is the only kind there is.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  DEVLYN

  “I hate him,” I screamed into my pillow. Only I didn’t hate him. I could never hate him. Most fifteen-year-old girls hang posters of their favorite boy band. If Garrett Hollis was in a boy band, he’d grace my walls.

  Sobbing into my pillow, snot ran down my face. It couldn’t be true. Sheena couldn’t be pregnant. It couldn’t be Garrett’s. My mom had been on the phon
e non-stop as news spread through Eden Valley like wildfire, and I hadn’t stopped crying since.

  There hadn’t been a teenage pregnancy in this town for as far back as anyone could remember. Out-of-wedlock was one thing, but teenage pregnancy didn’t happen here. Or so everyone thought. According to my momma, Eden Valley had become the devil’s playground.

  I opened the door to my bedroom, hearing my parents in the kitchen. “I can’t believe they are sending Garrett back to school,” I heard my mom say to my dad. “And they enrolled that girl.” She said “that girl” like it was a cuss word. “Can you imagine a pregnant teenager roaming the halls?”

  When something like this happens, there’s a ripple effect. It changes the lives of a lot of people, not just the main parties involved. Parents, grandparents, siblings all are affected. Neighbors and friends are on that list, too. Take me, for example. I’m no one. News of Sheena’s pregnancy was my first heartbreak. Not that this was about me, I knew it wasn’t. But it also rippled through the rest of the town, making parents of teenagers scared, cautious, and overly protective. Suddenly, the town’s golden boy was a poster child for what not to do, and no one wanted their child associated with that.

  My dad’s eyes caught mine, and he nodded to my mother. She faked a smile for me, running her fingers through my hair. “I want you to stay away from Garrett Hollis. I know he’s your friend, but that boy . . .”

  “That boy” was now a cuss word, too. “Don’t worry, Momma. I don’t ever want to see him again.”

  *

  I wanted to hate him. I did, but I loved him too much. Garrett was every girl’s dream. He had these blue eyes and when he smiled, you’d swear they sparkled just for you. At sixteen, he was already six feet. His dark hair was always a little messy, and I wish I knew what it felt like. He played football for our school, and it showed in the way his shirt sleeves tightly hugged his biceps. Popular, gorgeous, on honor roll, and worked a part-time job at the hardware store in town—there wasn’t much not to love.

  Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one who loved him.

  He had sex. He’d gotten her pregnant, and still I loved him. Any adult would say it wasn’t real. They’d say it was just teenage puppy love. Someone needed to explain that to my heart.

  Sheena wasn’t from Eden Valley. She’d spent last summer here with her parents. They were from New York. They rented a place and were here until Labor Day. The day she walked into town and laid eyes on Garrett, I knew I’d never have a chance. When she left at the end of the summer, I was so happy. I didn’t want Garrett to be heartbroken, but I hoped he’d finally notice me as more than a friend.

  Then several weeks later, she shows up at his front door, having run away from home, pregnant with his baby. Rumor has it that her parents have disowned her. Not sure if that’s true or not. Either way, Mr. and Mrs. Hollis took her in, got her enrolled in school, and are going to help them raise the baby.

  The hallways of the high school were eerily quiet. You could’ve heard a pin drop when Sheena and Garrett turned the corner that first day they walked in together.

  Her eyes were down, and he was gently rubbing her back, carrying both their school bags. Everyone, including me, stood frozen by their lockers. The boy who once walked down the hall to high fives and cheers was now the outcast.

  I couldn’t imagine what it was like for him to walk into school after news of the pregnancy broke. I’d never seen Garrett cry. Never seen him scared, but when his blue eyes found mine in the hallway, the sadness and fear shot right through me. I’d been his friend his whole life. Our parents were friends, we’d grown up together. We’d ridden bikes through town, skipped rocks at the springs, played touch football at Thanksgiving with other kids from town.

  Now was not the time to stop being his friend. Not when it appeared he didn’t have any left. He needed me. Adjusting my backpack on my shoulder, I walked toward him and Sheena as whispers filled the hallway.

  Garrett stood there frozen, not knowing what to expect from me. Probably another disappointed person coming to let loose on him. We hadn’t talked since all this went down. I’m sure he had his hands full and calling me wasn’t at the top of his list of things to do. Besides, I’d been too wrapped up in my own heartbreak to even consider his, until right now. Swallowing back my own sadness, I walked up to him and said, “Mystery meat for lunch today, but I’ve got an extra sandwich. You guys make sure to sit with me.”

  I didn’t have an extra sandwich. Garrett and I both knew it. But when he smiled at me, the fear in his eyes was a little less.

  *

  I was permanently grounded that entire school year. My parents couldn’t control who I walked the halls with at school. They couldn’t control who I sat with at lunch, but I was under lockdown at home. Only school activities were permitted. All because they found out I’d been hanging out with Garrett. Sheena was always there, too. Garrett only left her side when he was forced to. I wanted to take out a billboard that said, “Teenage pregnancy is not contagious.” But Eden Valley has a ban on billboards. Just my luck.

  And I had to wonder if our English teacher assigning The Scarlet Letter that year was just a coincidence. After all, we were having our very own interpretation in our own town. Hopefully, no one burned at the stake this time.

  When I heard Sheena had the baby, I had to get creative. I snuck out my bathroom window, took the car without permission or a license for that matter, and drove myself to the hospital. I wanted to be there for Garrett. Most everyone had continued to keep their distance, so I knew that no one would be there for him other than his family.

  That little stunt had me washing dishes and scrubbing the floors of Biscuit Girl for the entire summer. It was worth it, though.

  To get to meet little baby Mia. I was grateful that Sheena was in the bathroom getting ready to go home. It gave me a few minutes with Garrett. He placed the baby in my arms.

  I looked up at Garrett, bags under his eyes, his hair all crazy. He looked older somehow. It was as if overnight he became a man. “I’ll help you.”

  His head shook. “I’m sure your parents won’t . . .”

  “I don’t care,” I said.

  “DD, this isn’t like sitting with us at school when no one else would.”

  “You think I care what people think?” I asked, motioning down to my orange shorts and pink frilly top.

  Garrett chuckled, and I wondered when the last time he laughed was. “Thanks, Devlyn,” he said, and it was the first time I heard him use my real name and not DD. Apparently, I’d grown up, too.

  My visit was cut short when Sheena came out of the bathroom. Something about the way she looked made Garrett send me away. If I’d known what that look meant, I would’ve stayed.

  Sheena left him.

  That day.

  Instead of going home a family, Garrett took Mia home without her mother.

  That left me and the whole town in a state of shock.

  I didn’t talk to him for what seemed like forever after that, but really it was only a month. I wanted to talk to him. My parents took my phone from my room, so I couldn’t call. I managed to get one letter sent to him, but I’m not sure he got it or whether he responded. If he did, my parents never gave it to me.

  I’ve watched him coming and going from the hardware store—he’s still working there. It must be hard to balance work, being a dad, dealing with what Sheena did. I tried to wave, but his head’s always down.

  Wiping down a table at Biscuit Girl, my mother walked by, giving my shoulder a little pat. It was summer break. I should be happy, but I wasn’t, and I didn’t have it in me to fake a smile for my mother.

  “That poor boy,” I heard a customer say and looked out the window.

  Garrett was sitting in the gazebo in the town square, a little baby girl in his arms—alone. Like she read my mind, my momma yelled out my name, but it was too late. I was already out the door.

  I was already grounded, so what did I have to los
e? I didn’t care how it looked. I didn’t care what anyone thought—a young teenage girl hanging out with a teenage single father. I know my parents were worried I’d be next. The only thing I was worried about was Garrett.

  “Hey,” I said.

  He jumped slightly, the dark circles under his eyes coming into view. “Wow, she’s getting so big,” I said, smiling down at the baby.

  He looked over my shoulder, my mother standing outside the diner watching us. He and I both noticed others beginning to appear as well, coming out of the diner or filing out of other stores to catch a better view, all standing and watching us like my mother.

  “Sorry,” he said, getting to his feet. “She’s been up all night. Won’t take her bottle. I thought maybe a walk, some fresh air. I don’t want you to get into trouble.”

  “Let me try,” I said, reaching for the bottle.

  “You sure?” he asked, eyeing my mother.

  “I’m already grounded for life for taking the car and coming to see you at the hospital.”

  “God, Devlyn, I’m sorry.”

  “Shut up,” I said, holding out my arms. “Let me try.”

  He slipped Mia into my arms, and just like with her father, I fell in love at first sight. She was beautiful just like him. And stubborn just like him. And just like him, she missed Sheena.

  I tickled her little baby mouth with the nipple of the bottle, causing her to open wide. It had to be beginners’ luck, because I had no experience with babies—none, nada, zilch.

  Mia went to town, and Garrett looked like he’d won the lottery. I wanted to know if he’d heard from Sheena. I wanted to know why she left. Instead, I said, “You know you look like complete shit.”

  His laugh was so loud I’m sure it raised the eyebrows of our onlookers. I loved that I could make him laugh. I didn’t have much I could offer him, but I could give him that.

  He wiggled his daughter’s hand, and she wrapped her hand around his finger, gripping tightly. “Mia doesn’t care how I look,” he said sweetly.